I miss you so much. I talk to you all the time and I hope that you are near and that you hear me. At your funeral, I pledged to live my life in a way that would honor you and how you raised me. Just wanted to let you know that I really am trying. It's not always as easy as it may seem. I try to transcend the negative and focus on the positive. I truly love and enjoy life. That is something I believe I get from you.
You had the best smile in the history of human beings smiling. I think of your smile and it makes my heart so warm. You weren't just my Mom. You were my friend. Always available to talk to me. Even when I was acting like a jerk. You always told me that I am a better person than you. I never really knew how to take that. I always wanted you to see you through my eyes. Not yours. Yours were incapable of showing you your incredible, intrepid beauty. That made me sad. And frustrated. It made me wonder that if you couldn't recognize your beauty, how could I recognize mine?
As I continue on this journey of life, I know you are by side spiritually. Sometimes I can even feel your presence, recognize your energy, feel your hug. I can't make any guarantees but I will try, with every fiber of my being, to live my life in tribute to you, you beautiful, remarkable woman.
I hope I am doing you proud, Mom.
I wish you were here.